BOY! What a magical, wonderful whirlwind. Being a mom has been, and still is, an incredible experience.
The labor and delivery of our little Leo was incredible (That story will be shared on another post, for another day). Since we gave birth at a birthing center, we went home the same day I delivered , which was both wonderful and terrifying. Our first night with him was one of the hardest, emotionally draining nights so far.
One word: breastfeeding.
Once we got the hang of breastfeeding, life with a newborn got much easier (but not easy). Leo is a pretty gassy baby and we are still working on finding the culprit. Am I not burping well? Is it something I'm eating? Does he have reflux?
Sometimes he just cries and not being able to soothe or figure out why he is crying is truly heartbreaking. He really hates clothes and sleeping in his bassinet. Since he spits up so much, we haven't been worried so much with the bassinet because we were worried he would choke if he was on his back. So instead we opted to let him sleep on our chests or elevated in the swing. We now have some triangles to help keep him on his side and are using books to elevate his head in the bassinet and my worry has diminished quite a bit. He still doesn't love sleeping in the bassinet, but he's getting better! Its so true though, that moms will just stare at their babies while they sleep to make sure they are still breathing. I sure did, and still do and don't regret it for a second. Despite what I've confessed so far, Leo is actually a pretty great baby. He is SO fun to watch and has this adorable personality. He loves to cuddle (and I don't mind either). He's perfect even when things are tough for mom and dad.
As far as the rest of parenthood goes- I once again underestimated everything. I underestimated how much netflix I could watch in one day. How long I can go without sleep. How well my body adjusts to 1.5-2 hour sleeps. How much I don't care how many times I get peed on, pooped on, spit up on. How hard it is to get a baby to go to sleep. I underestimated how much laundry I would be doing (EVERYDAY). I underestimated my family and friends and how much they would care for us.
I underestimated how many hours I would spend simply staring into his perfect eyes and getting lost in the beauty and blessing that God had given us. I underestimated how much I would love sleeping with Leo on my chest. How much I truly needed to rely on God for strength, patience, and understanding. I underestimated how much more I could fall in love with Andrew as I watched him be a daddy and care for me so well. How much I loved watching Leo's animated expressions. I underestimated how different life would be with our baby and how much I would love it.
But mostly, I underestimated the depth of love that I was capable of.
I love you little Leo- more than words can ever say.
oh deanna, i hate that u went through that! i know the whole 'he latched! i don't care that it's wrong...he latched!' then the bleeding :(
ReplyDeletei love just watching him :) let me know if i can do anything else!!!