I have a lot of friends who are new moms and I am SO excited for all of you. Many of you have made the decision to breastfeed your baby- or at least give it a shot. For those of you that are breastfeeding or considering breastfeeding, I want to encourage you.
Breastfeeding is hard. You’ve probably heard this already, and maybe you’ve already prepared yourself for it. But I’ll say it again- BREASTFEEDING IS HARD.
If you are one of those that wants to breastfeed but are having some struggles and considering switching to formula, please don’t feel like you’re a failure because you switched. You tried and you decided on a different path and so long as your baby is fed- you’re succeeding!
However, if you are wanting to pursue the breastfeeding path despite the struggles, this post is for you.
I feel like I’m a pretty good example of someone who had some struggles with breastfeeding at the beginning, but through support, a wonderful lactation consultant/midwives, and persistence, I was able to continue to breastfeed and stay sane! We are now happily 5 months in and my breastfeeding goals are continuing to increase from 6 months, to a year. and now I'm thinking- what the heck, lets go for 18-24 months! 😮
Since Leo was born in a birth center, we were discharged a short 6 hours after he was born- and I only had one successful latch (that only lasted 10 minutes) before I left. I thought to myself, “This wasn’t that hard, we got the hang of this pretty fast!” Then came our next feed. When we got home from the center, I tried to nurse again, with no success. My LC said that that’s normal, but to continue to offer the breast every hour until he latches. He eventually ate a little bit, but not much at all (maybe 10 minutes worth). Then it was time to go to bed. We went to bed and I woke up about 3 hours later to feed Leo. Once again, he didn’t seem interested. I’d done my research and in all of my birthing classes I heard: the baby shouldn’t go longer than 4 hours without food, and will likely eat every 2-3 hours. So, I laid him back down and let him sleep a little longer. I tried again about 30 minutes later. We continued to try for the next FIVE hours without any success. We both cried. And cried. And cried. We did some skin to skin to calm down. We snuggled some more and eventually, he latched. I had to calm down because my stress wasn’t helping him. We tried multiple positions, offering different breasts, self expressing before offering. We tried baby led feeding where I would lay him on my chest and let him find the nipple and begin to latch on his own. I honestly don’t even remember what worked. I just know that I finally got him to eat and I was exhausted and in pain. He didn’t have a good latch, but I didn’t care- my baby had FINALLY decided he was going to latch and eat. Because of my experience our first night, I decided that as long as I could hear Leo swallowing milk, I wouldn’t worry about the latch- even if it hurt. And it did. I was bloody, cracked, pinched, and tender. But I pushed through. We didn’t have any formula to offer, nor did I want to introduce formula yet. I was mentally prepared for breastfeeding to be difficult, I just didn’t know HOW difficult, and even though I was prepared- that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t upset or emotional that it didn’t go as well as it did in the birth center the first time. Plus- my hormones were going crazy anyway.
Our 48 hour check up couldn’t come fast enough. When my midwives saw how torn up my breasts were, they immediately offered a nipple shield and asked why I didn’t contact them sooner. I know why I didn’t, and it was because I wanted to figure it out on my own and didn’t want to be a nuisance. I didn’t want to bug them with more questions or call them in the middle of the night. I came to realize that I wasn’t a nuisance and that if I'm struggling that much to ask for help! That’s their job and they WANT to help. Had I not had my 48 hour postpartum visit, Leo and I could have suffered a great deal more because of my insecurities and stubbornness. So, if you’re thinking about contacting an LC or your doctor but don’t want to because you’ve already asked or needed a bunch of help- just do it! My midwives were so encouraging and wanted to let me know that I wasn’t alone and should never feel that way. They are only a phone call away- 24/7. This gave me great peace, support, and encouragement.
But the struggle continued. We started to use the nipple shield and it was a LIFE SAVER. Though, because he was able to latch better, my milk started coming in faster and my let down was SO strong that Leo would often choke on the milk. He also over-ate a ton because my milk would come out so quickly. Mostly, I was glad that he was getting enough to eat, but it did cause issues on its own (minor ones, mind you- and mostly just adding to the laundry because of the gallons of spit up).
After about a week of using the nipple shield exclusively, I started trying to wean him off of that and see if we could get a correct latch. This took a LOT of patience and tears. Both Leo and I would spend a good 30 minutes during each feed trying to figure things out. Both of us often getting frustrated. One thing I had to remember was that babies have to learn how to do this too. It’s natural, but also takes time to learn. We can both get frustrated, but over time (most of the time), you’ll both get the hang of it. Some feeds were better than others without the shield. My left side was my biggest struggle. He would latch when I would hold him in a football hold, but I would always end up bleeding by the end of the feed. Shortly after, Leo started spitting up blood. I mean, a LOT of blood. I didn’t make the connection because I didn’t think I bled THAT much, but his pediatrician said that it was just from my breast and nothing to worry about (expect to make sure he is latching correctly). This continued for another week- every time I would try to feed him from my left side without the nipple shield, he was spit up bright red blood- freaking me out every time. We took him to the chiropractor and Dr. K asked about his feeding habits and if Leo had a prefered side. We told him our issues and he checked his neck for mobility and adjusted him using incredibly light pressure. After that visit, Leo had few problems latching on my left side and I could even use the cradle position! A couple more weeks of weaning and Leo was finally nipple shield free!
I was persistent. We worked really hard- and it took at least 6 weeks to figure things out. We never gave up and I often reached out for help from friends and my LC (after my 48 appt that is). We didn’t have the money for formula, so breastfeeding was really the only real option we had. We had to make it work. One of my biggest motivating factors when it came to breastfeeding was that it’s essentially free! I’m so glad I stuck with it. I feel like such a super woman knowing that I’m helping sustain a human life with my milk! Here is what milk drunk looks like:
If you are a new mom and are struggling with breastfeeding or have some questions about it, I’d be happy to offer some advice and encouragement. But please know that I am not a lactation consultant and my advice should not replace a visit to an LC if you have some serious issues with breastfeeding. I’d encourage anyone who is struggling to also join a breastfeeding support group. Be sure to find one that is right for you- a no-judgement zone. I do believe that most women who want to breastfeed would be more likely to reach their breastfeeding goals with support and education.
