Let me not be like the Israelites.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is Good. His Love Endures forever.”

That is what comes to mind when I think about my Spring trips. God’s goodness, his provision, His constant, unfailing love and mercy.

Humbled, amazed, broken, and yet full.

I've had this blog written for a couple weeks now, but it just doesn't do justice to what my heart has experienced. I kept trying to write, rewrite, and then rewrite again. This is the outcome. Again, there are few words that can adequately describe what the Lord has done in me, what He has taught me. 

I traveled to the desert dry, empty. And it was the desert, despite the death and hopelessness that it often represents, that brought me streams of flowing mercy, a cup that overflows. In the desert, I was like the Israelites. I saw God do amazing things, but then continued to doubt him and turn to other pleasures, turn to other idols to fulfill my needs. I sounded like the Israelites as depicted in Jeremiah 2: 5-6, 11 & 13:

"[The Israelites] did not say, 'Where is the Lord who brought us up from the land of Egypt, who led us in the wilderness in a land of deserts and pits in a land of drought and deep darkness, in a land that none passes through, where no man dwells...' [Instead,] "My people have changed their glory for that which does not profit... my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the Fountain of Living Waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water."

And I wonder why I arrived dry...

But the moment I arrived, the Lord began to remake me. He started to fix my cistern to be able to hold the Fountain of Living Waters. 

The desert, too, was living. It was not dry. It was not empty. Though this is seasonal (for the desert), it was also spiritual (for me). God used the desert to say to me, "Look what I can make out of the driest of places. Do you not trust me to make you full again? Do you see the beauty? Do you not believe that I can make you whole again?"

If you're wondering what I might have been struggling with, why I had not been feeling "whole" read my last post "To Be Honest... where I explain about how I am still healing from the depression I spent the last year/year and a half in. 

I often forget how quenching the fount is.

I never want to forget again.
Lord help me to not be like the Israelites.

While I want to recount every detail of my two and a half weeks in Tucson, every ministry that we worked in, every significant conversation, I feel that there is a better time and place for that. Instead, I’ll cut some of it out and share with you some highlights. If you want to hear more about the details I would LOVE to tell you in person, over skype, or on the phone.

My first week, with Spring Arbor University, was full of incredible ministry. One of the ministry days, we worked with Church on the Street and went to downtown Tucson. We passed out granola bars, water bottles and flyers about the Tucson Homeless Connect and Church on the Street and just talked with some of the homeless there. What was so powerful to me was seeing the disciples from Church on the Street love on and give hope to those still on the street. The disciples boldly prayed for those on the street and were unashamed to tell about their love for Jesus. My heart was filled with joy as I watched God transform lives. All I could think of was Paul. As we were being cursed, slandered, and insulted by some- all I could think about was Saul becoming Paul. If God can change a murderer who hated Jesus, why should I lose hope for those slandering Him on the street. God was working in my heart, and in the hearts of those we were serving. He was remaking me. 

Pastora Diana and I taking a selfie in front of the team and the disciples from Church on the Street

As God continued to remake me and remind me of His power, He pushed me to be in constant prayer. I was so encouraged by the Lord’s provision- especially the second week when everything seemed to be going haywire. My second week was insanely crazy- from the hotel not having the 24 rooms that I booked for 55 MIDDLE SCHOOLERS, to having an almost complete staff change mid-way through the trip, to, well, just having 55 twelve and thirteen year olds. It was a crazy week and I spent every night crying out to God for strength, wisdom, provision, peace, discernment. And every night God would provide for me exactly what I needed for the next day. He provided ministry opportunities, He provided staff for me, He provided the strength, wisdom and clarity of mind I needed to complete the task in front of me. He provided EVERYTHING I needed and more. No, the trip did not go perfectly. There were many hiccups beyond our control and many hiccups that were within our control. AND YET, at the end of the week when I was talking with the group leader he said, (paraphasing)”Yes, there were things that need to be improved for next year, but yes, we will be back next year. The kid’s got a lot out of the trip.” A couple of their students accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior, a couple went back with renewed perspective. If even just one life was changed for the Gospel, I count the trip successful.

God did a work on my heart for those two weeks. But he wasn’t done with me once those teams left. No, Pastora Diana took me to Mexico with her (along with my co-worker, Andrew Smith).

This is where I was fully renewed, and broken, and filled again.

This is where my heart remains.

This is where I knew I'd never be the same again.

I was talking with my best friend about this a couple days ago and she worded it perfectly- “I’ve been to a lot of places before, but only two have ever really felt like home.” Mexico feels like home.

As I write this, my eyes are filling up with tears. Tears of joy, tears of heartbreak, tears of yearning to be back. Tears for those families and children living in a LITERAL dump, tears for the house parents who can’t find a CHURCH to support their orphanage which holds about 30 kids.

God brought me there to renew my passion for Mexico. It was a spontaneous trip and not a planned trip by Praying Pelican. I was having coffee with Pastora Diana of Church of the Street and shared with her my love for Mexico and how I so desperately wanted to go back. She said, “When do you want to go.” So, early one Saturday morning we set out for a day trip to Mexico- a trip that forever changed me.

I pray each day for another opportunity to go back.

I pray each day that God would direct me in ways to continue to help the orphanages.

I pray each day that God would bring teams through Praying Pelican to partner with these orphanages, with Church on the Street and with other ministries going on in Mexico.

If you, your church, your family, anyone wants to go on a mission trip to Tucson, Mexico, Haiti, or any of our other locations give me a call or visit our website to read about our other locations. 

Come willing to be changed by God and to see the world changed by God. Come, expecting to see amazing things happen and pray that as you return home, you will not become like the Israelites.

My prayer every day is to not be like the Israelites.

My prayer is to be like Jeremiah, like Moses, like Ruth, but mostly, my prayer is to be more like Jesus.